I have to admit it; I am a texting addict. Recently I forgot to take my phone out of my pocket and I put it in the washing machine. With a magic trick using 95% alcohol I revived my phone, however the “3” button containing the letters “d,e & f” , is somewhat inoperable. I am going through text withdrawal like a true addict. One year left in my contract and a five-hour drive to activate a new phone has made me have to cope. The thing I miss most though is text flirting.
Due to being on the road a lot over the last year I have to admit many times I would meet a wonderful woman and not be able to see her in person for sometimes months. I am a phone guy, with my all time record being nine hours on the phone with a girl. Ok that is fairly pathetic, I admit; however if I didn’t like talking I obviously wouldn’t be doing what I do. When I am on the phone, my conversation usually lasts a fair bit. I often don’t have time to talk on the phone and that is where texting comes in.
Rule #1 Don’t use sarcasm, and if you tease be sure you pull them back in or let them know you are teasing.
I start my texting off with a fun playful vibe and use light innuendo.
Me: How was your night? Mine was fun, though I am just glad I didn’t end up naked in jail.
Her: Good, although your night sounds more fun!
Me: Sure, figures the thought of me naked behind bars is your idea of fun.
Her: Hmm now that does sound fun.
Me: Well, ok, but I insist we make copies of the key. You would probably abuse that situation way too much!
Her: That’s no fun. What, you don’t trust me?
Me: Hell no, not when it comes to my nakedness. I’m just not the kind of guy that likes to be taken advantage of. Ok, actually I really am.
Rule #2 It is ok to be very sexual over text, as long as you don’t make her to commit to it in real life or make her think that is all you want.
Me: You were pretty hot last night. Those sexy legs kept distracting me from just how interesting you really are. What are you up to right now?
Her: I am at work
Me: Really and are your co-workers able to appreciate just how sexy your legs are?
Her: Well actually I am wearing a skirt. My legs are crossed and I am trying to not get too turned on by all this flirting.
Me: Ya that would be awful if I told you what I would want to do to you in that skirt on your desk.
Her: You might just get these sexy legs of mine wrapped around you. OMG did I just say that?
Me: And all I can think about is looking down at you while your legs are on my shoulders while I am having sex with you on your desk.
Her: OMG I am so turned on right now, not fair!! I’m at work!
The anonymity of texting is a girl’s best friend. They will often be far more sexual in text than in real life. Women can get downright dirty in text. The key is finding that moment when she is making an innuendo and being a bit more forward. That is your cue to take the ball and run with it.
Rule #3 Make major escalations in text flirting right after she flirts back.
I look at text flirting like fishing a bit. I cast the bait by saying slightly flirtatious statements and wait for her to bite. When she does, then I take it to the next level. If she doesn’t bite, the statements are kept innocent. Each time she takes my bait I notch it up a level.
Rule #4 Never apologize if she brings up how sexual you are.
If she comments about you being sexual (but does not ask you to stop), admit that is the way you are and don’t be apologetic. What will get you in trouble is if you are being sexual and asking her to agree to be sexual with you. For example:
“I totally want to touch you in inappropriate places, where would you like me to touch you?”
If you are mis-calibrated with this statement it will feel like you are coming on too strong. Instead try something like this:
“I totally want to touch you in inappropriate places, but I can’t tell you that; especially since that is really hard to do over text. So how is work going today?
Both take some calibration to use correctly but the latter asks for no commitment to being sexual or returning that. The thing that makes you come off creepy, and way too overtly sexual, is showing neediness and being approval seeking when flirting.
To learn more about texting and how not to come off inappropriate, needy, or creepy, check out the companion podcast Texting Women also as a special bonus, Kory’s Patented technique for making a conversation sexual.
Showing posts with label Commitment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commitment. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Phone Game II
So you got her phone number, you followed the first installment of the phone game sequence, and she answers, now what?
This is where you begin, as with any interaction, with the method. The six steps remember of Charisma Arts method are: Open, Get Commitment, Establish Rapport, Get Info, SOI, and Close.
Open
Whoever answers greet them with her name, “Hi Susan!”
No need to say who you are because her phone has your name in it and already told her what your name is. If it is a guy that answers do the same thing. This creates a sense of familiarity. He will likely just hand the phone to her thinking you are a close friend who expected her to answer her own phone. If you ask if she is there, then he may just ask her like this, “Uh hold on I’ll see if she is around. Who is this? Hey Susan, some guy named Dan is on the phone, do you want to take it or should I tell him you are busy?”
Not the best impression eh? Also if she answers and you ask her if Susan is there, it sets up the feeling of being strangers.
Get Commitment
Once you get her on the phone it is time to get commitment to the interaction. Start off asking, “What are you doing right now?”
If she tells you something like watching her kid brother, tell her you will call her back when she is done. This shows you expect her full attention and is very high value. I don’t like to talk to people while they are distracted and in turn I try not to be doing anything but talking if I am on the phone. No checking email or watching TV when I am having a conversation. If she says she is just watching TV then say, “Can you turn it off or put it aside for five minutes?”
I expect someone’s full attention when I talk to them; I don’t want to waste my time talking to someone who is distracted. This is how I get commitment.
Establish Rapport
Whether you are a phone person or not it is good to chat just a bit to remind her just how different your conversational style is. Relating and Appreciating her a bit will do just that. If you are not good on the phone you can keep this to a minimum, but you should do a bit.
Get Info
Ask her, “So what’s happened since the last time we’ve talked?”
This is an important step because you don’t know if she got back together with her ex, or her mom died, she’s going in for surgery, or something else that would affect how you interact with her. It would be a shame to go out with her and then at the end of the date she finally gets the nerve up to tell you she just got back together with her ex. Depending on the answer you will know whether you need to take it slower and schedule things around her moms funeral, or whether you can slide a date in the next couple days.
SOI
Time to make sure she knows why you are asking her out. Promise me you won’t skip this step otherwise you will likely be stuck dog sitting for her poodle on a Saturday night instead of going out with her. The word is Sexy and there is no other word. If you are having trouble SOI’ng her in your conversation, then try doing it in a more playful way. Say, “So what are you wearing right now?”
Guaranteed she will say something un-sexy like a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You then say, “Ooooh I can definitely use my imagination there, very sexy.”
This is a fun way to do it because it is goofy and so cheesy it comes off well.
Close
Time to set a date. Offer her up a time and day; don’t ask. She will let you know if it won’t work. For example:
You: Ok I think we should get together, you are too much fun. Thursday at 9pm I’ll meet you down at the 3rd street pub and we’ll grab a beer.
Her: I actually can’t that day.
You: That’s cool, well that means it is your turn to propose a day and time. I don’t know you well enough to give you a weekend night, you are going to have to ask really nicely if you want me to yourself on a Friday or Saturday.
Her: Well then, I’d be honored if you joined me for a drink on Sunday night at 8pm. Hopefully that will fit into your busy schedule Mr. Popular.
Me: Sounds good. I’ll see you then.
Want to hear more on dating and what to do on dates, as well as a bit more on phone game? Listen to the accompanying podcast on Phone Game and Dating. Coming Soon!
This is where you begin, as with any interaction, with the method. The six steps remember of Charisma Arts method are: Open, Get Commitment, Establish Rapport, Get Info, SOI, and Close.
Open
Whoever answers greet them with her name, “Hi Susan!”
No need to say who you are because her phone has your name in it and already told her what your name is. If it is a guy that answers do the same thing. This creates a sense of familiarity. He will likely just hand the phone to her thinking you are a close friend who expected her to answer her own phone. If you ask if she is there, then he may just ask her like this, “Uh hold on I’ll see if she is around. Who is this? Hey Susan, some guy named Dan is on the phone, do you want to take it or should I tell him you are busy?”
Not the best impression eh? Also if she answers and you ask her if Susan is there, it sets up the feeling of being strangers.
Get Commitment
Once you get her on the phone it is time to get commitment to the interaction. Start off asking, “What are you doing right now?”
If she tells you something like watching her kid brother, tell her you will call her back when she is done. This shows you expect her full attention and is very high value. I don’t like to talk to people while they are distracted and in turn I try not to be doing anything but talking if I am on the phone. No checking email or watching TV when I am having a conversation. If she says she is just watching TV then say, “Can you turn it off or put it aside for five minutes?”
I expect someone’s full attention when I talk to them; I don’t want to waste my time talking to someone who is distracted. This is how I get commitment.
Establish Rapport
Whether you are a phone person or not it is good to chat just a bit to remind her just how different your conversational style is. Relating and Appreciating her a bit will do just that. If you are not good on the phone you can keep this to a minimum, but you should do a bit.
Get Info
Ask her, “So what’s happened since the last time we’ve talked?”
This is an important step because you don’t know if she got back together with her ex, or her mom died, she’s going in for surgery, or something else that would affect how you interact with her. It would be a shame to go out with her and then at the end of the date she finally gets the nerve up to tell you she just got back together with her ex. Depending on the answer you will know whether you need to take it slower and schedule things around her moms funeral, or whether you can slide a date in the next couple days.
SOI
Time to make sure she knows why you are asking her out. Promise me you won’t skip this step otherwise you will likely be stuck dog sitting for her poodle on a Saturday night instead of going out with her. The word is Sexy and there is no other word. If you are having trouble SOI’ng her in your conversation, then try doing it in a more playful way. Say, “So what are you wearing right now?”
Guaranteed she will say something un-sexy like a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You then say, “Ooooh I can definitely use my imagination there, very sexy.”
This is a fun way to do it because it is goofy and so cheesy it comes off well.
Close
Time to set a date. Offer her up a time and day; don’t ask. She will let you know if it won’t work. For example:
You: Ok I think we should get together, you are too much fun. Thursday at 9pm I’ll meet you down at the 3rd street pub and we’ll grab a beer.
Her: I actually can’t that day.
You: That’s cool, well that means it is your turn to propose a day and time. I don’t know you well enough to give you a weekend night, you are going to have to ask really nicely if you want me to yourself on a Friday or Saturday.
Her: Well then, I’d be honored if you joined me for a drink on Sunday night at 8pm. Hopefully that will fit into your busy schedule Mr. Popular.
Me: Sounds good. I’ll see you then.
Want to hear more on dating and what to do on dates, as well as a bit more on phone game? Listen to the accompanying podcast on Phone Game and Dating. Coming Soon!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Learn True Commitment
Ok this blog is your experience. It is your chance to see some of the most powerful flirting techniques ever discovered. Go out and practice this one otherwise it will seem too simple and easy.
1. Go out and manhug 3 strange men. Walk up to them as if you know them and man hug them. When they say they don’t know you, you can then realize it and just introduce yourself and have a quick conversation. I am serious about this, it seems stupid but every client I have do this says it was really remarkable how much commitment it took. That is the amount of commitment you should be applying to every interaction
2. Your new approach to women in a bar. I want you to spend some time looking around the bar with a smile on your face. When you catch the eye of a woman don’t break eye contact no matter what. Smile bigger and make the commitment to walk over directly while trying to keep eye contact the whole way. The commitment starts at eye contact and a smile, not two feet away. Commit to talking to her from across the bar. Every step is your approach with a warm vibe. Conclude the opening with “Hi I’m ______”. That is the end of opening, not the beginning. It all starts with eye contact and a smile.
That is it. Go try it and tell me about how different things went.
1. Go out and manhug 3 strange men. Walk up to them as if you know them and man hug them. When they say they don’t know you, you can then realize it and just introduce yourself and have a quick conversation. I am serious about this, it seems stupid but every client I have do this says it was really remarkable how much commitment it took. That is the amount of commitment you should be applying to every interaction
2. Your new approach to women in a bar. I want you to spend some time looking around the bar with a smile on your face. When you catch the eye of a woman don’t break eye contact no matter what. Smile bigger and make the commitment to walk over directly while trying to keep eye contact the whole way. The commitment starts at eye contact and a smile, not two feet away. Commit to talking to her from across the bar. Every step is your approach with a warm vibe. Conclude the opening with “Hi I’m ______”. That is the end of opening, not the beginning. It all starts with eye contact and a smile.
That is it. Go try it and tell me about how different things went.
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