Vacuum

A quick note on the Vacuum; for those of you who read the blog on listening, you noticed the final paragraph sounded a lot like the “Vacuum”. You are right. The vacuum is all about listening. That is why it shows you are a high value person. Confident people don’t ask questions they don’t want answered; they listen for the answer and are committed to waiting for that answer.

Those of you who are having trouble holding the vacuum think about it as just sincerely waiting for an answer. Get more interested in the questions you are asking. Stop asking questions you don’t care about. Questions should not be conversation fillers; they should be conversation starters. “How’s it going”, “how are you”, “what’s up”; these are all examples of questions that are so commonly asked yet so seldom answered, or when they are the answers are meaningless because the person asking doesn’t really care. I am consistently trying to get rid of these questions in my own conversations. “Hey, what’s up, I’m Dan”, is a common one for me. However, every time I ask it I forget to wait for an answer, so why bother asking the question. I need to either wait for an answer before I continue or don’t ask the question.

Ever get caught asking several questions in a row or asking another question to refine the first question? “Hey, how are you, I’m John, how’s it going tonight, you ladies having fun?” Ouch, which question would you like them to answer, not to mention ending the whole statement with a leading closed ended question.

The key to the Vacuum is asking a question and waiting for an answer. Also when someone is done speaking, waiting to see if they are truly done, or if there is more they would like to say.