Post SOI

When I was learning this method the SOI (Statement of Intent) was a godsend. It was clear once I made a SOI that the woman I was interested in knew that I was interested in having a non-platonic relationship. I found that as long as I tried to kiss her within a few dates and apply some mild kino, that SOI saved me from falling back into AFC-land. I was never in that much of a hurry to escalate and it was working for me for the most part. I did find some interactions stagnated though, and I knew I needed to escalate quicker, I just didn’t know how so I fumbled through letting her know my intentions to make the interaction more sexual.

A lot of guys ask me about how to escalate further once the SOI has been made. I found that once I started using Push Pull and Sexual Barriers my game skyrocketed and I never worried about how to escalate again. These two tools allow you to put your intentions out there and make it very clear what you want to do. What makes them so special is it allows you to make statements without putting any pressure on yourself or her to make something happen.

Push Pull and Sexual Barriers allow you to state your intentions very clearly but it doesn’t ask her to say yes or no. This is very advantageous for a few reasons. If you were to go too fast physically escalating for her, then she is put into a hard position. She has to stop you because she doesn’t want to appear desperate, however she may have been fine with a slower pace. All she is left with is trying to slow things down completely. If you ask her verbally or make a statement showing that you want to escalate but wait for her response, this also puts her in a hard position. She may be afraid to say yes and appear desperate, but she doesn’t want you to stop escalating. By putting her in this position you won’t get what you want. However when saying something like “I’ve been thinking about kissing you for the last 10 min, but really, your going to have to get to know me better before I do something like that.” What that does is it allows her to avoid the commitment of it. She doesn’t have to say yes or no to that. You just keep on going at that point. Most of the time you are going to kiss, and the rest you put it out there as a goal.

Using these tools like this allows you to state your intentions and put out a goal for the interaction, without either of you having to commit to this goal. When she knows where you are going with this, she will be highly interested in how you drive the interaction to this place. This is so powerful. You show you are not afraid to escalate; yet you don’t put any pressure on either of you to do so. She doesn’t have to feel like she appears desperate because she never has to commit to something that may be timed wrong or takes her by surprise. Doing it this way allows for all sorts of room for error yet still achieving your goal. Also, you can be very straightforward with what you want.

Here are some of my favorites to escalate an interaction. You are welcome to use them but you should find a way to make up your own.

“You are a very _________ person, that is really sexy, you have to stop it now you are really turning me on” (New version of our SOI)

“Seriously, stop it, if you keep telling me all this really cool stuff about you, I am not going to be able to control myself.”

“You are so passionate about that, I am really trying hard to not want to take you home right now, that is so sexy.”

“Listening to you talk is really becoming quite unbearable, your voice is too sensual, you better stop. I am going to have to go to the bathroom (get a drink, go outside for a smoke, etc) just to compose myself. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back”

“I really can’t stop thinking about taking you home, but I really need to get to know you better first.”

“Honestly I can’t get this image out of my head, of my tongue running up the inside of your thighs, but I really don’t know you that well. So tell me something interesting about yourself most people don’t know, instead.”