Be The Man!

Like it or not, men are born to be providers and protectors. Genetically we are stronger and bigger so we can hunt food and protect our woman. It is in our genes and we can’t escape it. Women consistently seek the most fit provider and protector they can find. In our society being the provider and protector means very different things than it did when we were living as hunters and gatherers.

Women have to know you are strong and confident. The interesting thing is you can be a ninety-eight pound weakling with a crappy job and still be seen as the most fit provider and protector. It is about confidence and attitude.

Here are what I see as modern traits that will allow you to be seen as the most fit protector and provider:

You are confident in making decisions.

You provide a safe space for a woman to be vulnerable with you.

You respond to adversity well.

Doing these things is really not that hard. The first can be achieved simply by confidently making choices that pertain to the both of you. Choose the place you meet and the time. Make a statement when you want to do something, don’t ask; “Let’s go get some coffee” instead of “Would you like to go and get some coffee?” This is not being controlling, because she has every right to decline or make her opinions known.

Providing a safe place for a woman to be vulnerable comes with practice, but not qualifying her and instead disqualifying a lot makes her comfortable to be herself around you. This is the easiest way to do this as well as listen and emotionally relate to her.

Responding to adversity is the tough one, yet I think it makes you the most attractive to a woman.

Having a positive attitude is the most important thing to cultivate. If you can look at the positive side to the worst things, you will be a lot less affected by them. Recently I’ve had some crazy stuff happen to me. My car was broken into and I lost a lot of really important things. I was able to see the positives though, and not let it worry me. This is one of the things that my new girl loves about me. My plane got delayed for four hours, while I sat on the runway in New York. I talked to her quite a while to pass the time. I was tired and grumpy, and I was really having a hard time staying positive. I just refused to complain though. Later the next day when she talked to me she was so impressed that I stayed positive where she would not have (of course I still disqualified). This communicates to someone your dating that even in the hard times you have the confidence and strength to be relied upon.

If you keep in mind these three things and cultivate them in your life more and more women will see you as the man they want to be with. Cars and money mean nothing compared to these character traits.