The Friend Zone

I have some bad news. You are not the perfect guy. You can’t get any woman you want. NO ONE can. Sure the best Pick up artists out there are so good that they can manipulate a large percentage of women into falling for them temporarily. Why only Five for Five? Because even if Mystery achieves his elusive goal there will be a woman who will quickly step up that he can’t seduce. The idea you can have any woman you want is an illusion. Sorry to burst your bubble, you might just have to stop looking for that perfect seduction method or technique.

Maybe the first thing you need to do is write off that girl who put you in the friend zone. You can’t have her; she already let you know that. SHE put you in to the friend zone, it is pretty clear you aren’t going to change her mind. I mean come on really, how long have you been pining over her?

More often than I like to admit I get emails asking me how to get a certain girl that a guy has been wanting for a long time. I do my spiel on making sure you put the interaction on the line, call her sexy (SOI her) and start using sexual barriers. Technically if you could lose your agenda to have her, and stop putting her so high on a pedestal, yes that is how you would get out of the friend zone. I’ve yet to hear it work for any of my clients. Not because it isn’t possible to get out of the friend zone, it is because they can’t lose their agenda and see her as a normal human being. It is a case of oneitis. I see great guys who are very smooth with women do the stupidest things around their oneitis. The community advice is go fuck ten other women. This might be a spot where I agree with their crude but sound advice.

The fact is some women aren’t going to fall in love with you. Live with that. It doesn’t mean you aren’t desirable or an attractive person. It means you didn’t fit her qualifications. Get over it.

So now I’ve just belittled your undying love for this woman and you are left hoping I’m wrong. I’ve dashed your fantasy of having any woman you want, and you probably doubt your ability to get ANY woman at all. Sorry I didn’t mean to do that. So what next?

What is left is to start being happy with whom you are. Take a month off the community, don’t hang out with that “friend” your pining over and in fact maybe don’t date for a month. Call up every guy friend you have (outside the community) and hang out with them. What, you don’t have any? Well this is your month to make them. Enroll in some new classes in whatever you might like. Hell, do things you don’t know if you like and have never tried. Go to the gym regularly. This is the month to get you happy with yourself. One of the reasons women don’t like you is you don’t really even like yourself. Don’t even think of staying in and having a pity party. Have fun without women, period.

At the end of your month, return to the dating scene with a vengeance; get out there and start dating anyone. Just start dating. However don’t drop the new friends you’ve made and new hobbies you’ve started. Be passionate about life and make dating only ONE part of it. Don’t get caught up with one woman, there are too many out there. Hey, and if you haven’t noticed since after your month off, you are a lot more attractive to all of them.

If you can forget about the girl who put you in the friend zone, and stop pining over her, she might just change her mind about you. Don’t count on it, don’t try for it; instead if she comments on all the women you are dating your reply should be “don’t be jealous, you had your chance.” And mean it! She was the one who put you in the friend zone, now it is your turn to put her there and make her wonder why you don’t want her anymore. You can’t fake this; you actually have to move on. It might help to think of all the things you don’t like about her and stop thinking she is a perfect angel. Knock her off your pedestal in your mind. You can do better than her and you should go out and get that.

Once you’ve had women more beautiful and more fun than her, maybe when you are single again, she will finally be obtainable again. Only because you know you have choice and confidence.

So my answer to the friend zone is give up on her. She really isn’t worth this much mental and emotional energy. There are other better women out there. I know, I pass on amazing women in lots of cities all the time. I don’t do long distance no matter how wonderful a woman is. No matter how many times I have found the perfect woman, I always seem to find more of them. I look back at those perfect women of my AFC days and realize I have dated and dumped women better than that. You will find better too.

Sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear, but it is what you need to hear. Stop keeping your balls in a box on the shelf when it comes to that “friend” and move on.