So I was chattin' the girlies yesterday init, and it goes somefing like:
girl: some story about a horse with its hoof stuck in wire and how sorry she felt for it.
When she's finished I enter with:
Cows rub up aginst wire fences and push them down, when I lived in the countryside, I would walk pasted these fallen fences and I was always so dissapointed that I wasn't there when - hand gestures of cow falling over + alarmed cow impression. I AM THE KING! EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE! LORD OF FUNNINESS. Then she says so you lived in the countryside... what was that like? and I like 'FUCCCCCKKKKK.... how am I supposed to answer that?'.
And I think and I think and I say: 'the countryside is somewhere to live when your old and need to die, cities are better.'
She turned away and I thought 'well that was fucked up'.
I gave a verdict not a description, as she requested, but I mean the question is so big where do you start? I've never had the question before, or am likely to again (since I usually describe that time as living beside the sea). And this is a recurring problem.
A while ago I was asked 'so you grew up in London, what was that like?'. How do you answer that kind of question? Childhood is like 25% of an autobiography so where do you start?
Is there anything which can make answering these questions easier? Are there any stalling tatics to buy you time?
"What is passion" that is a hard question. For me it is an excitement that drives me. It happens when i try something new, take a new risk, and get excited about the journey. My suggestion to find your passion is to try as many new things as you can. New sports, new experiences, take a class, teach a class, do new things until you find something that you enjoy enough to get you excited. That to me is passion, when I find that thing that enriches my life and makes me happy.
Of course then the only danger is getting a bit obsessive about it and it having a negative affect on my life. Its always about balance. --------------
FR:
Sounds like you have very different values than her. She feels bad when a horse gets hurt, you find it funny when a cow falls over. That is fine but in the context of this instance she sees how you don't understand her.
This is where being funny doesn't always work. She told you a very important story about how she felt and what her values and beliefs are. A nice statement of appreciation would be more effective. "You are a very empathetic person, I like about you."
Then relate a story where you felt empathy for someone or an animal.
When she asks you for a story like that don't feel you have to tell her the facts in chronological order. Choose one thing you remember about living in the countryside and tell her how that felt and what that was like.
Practice answering questions like that for yourself. Those are the type of questions you want to ask her. To get her to open up I have to open up about who I am.
I've been reading this blog for a while and just heard you on the Pickup Podcast. Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate what you do for the community. It's definitely been helping me with my growth and I'm now seriously considering taking a Charisma Arts workshop. Thanks again.
4 comments:
what is passion?
and how can I develop it?
Yo, whatsup hommie.
So I was chattin' the girlies yesterday init, and it goes somefing like:
girl: some story about a horse with its hoof stuck in wire and how sorry she felt for it.
When she's finished I enter with:
Cows rub up aginst wire fences and push them down, when I lived in the countryside, I would walk pasted these fallen fences and I was always so dissapointed that I wasn't there when - hand gestures of cow falling over + alarmed cow impression.
I AM THE KING! EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE! LORD OF FUNNINESS.
Then she says
so you lived in the countryside... what was that like?
and I like 'FUCCCCCKKKKK.... how am I supposed to answer that?'.
And I think and I think and I say:
'the countryside is somewhere to live when your old and need to die, cities are better.'
She turned away and I thought 'well that was fucked up'.
I gave a verdict not a description, as she requested, but I mean the question is so big where do you start? I've never had the question before, or am likely to again (since I usually describe that time as living beside the sea). And this is a recurring problem.
A while ago I was asked 'so you grew up in London, what was that like?'.
How do you answer that kind of question? Childhood is like 25% of an autobiography so where do you start?
Is there anything which can make answering these questions easier? Are there any stalling tatics to buy you time?
"What is passion" that is a hard question. For me it is an excitement that drives me. It happens when i try something new, take a new risk, and get excited about the journey. My suggestion to find your passion is to try as many new things as you can. New sports, new experiences, take a class, teach a class, do new things until you find something that you enjoy enough to get you excited. That to me is passion, when I find that thing that enriches my life and makes me happy.
Of course then the only danger is getting a bit obsessive about it and it having a negative affect on my life. Its always about balance.
--------------
FR:
Sounds like you have very different values than her. She feels bad when a horse gets hurt, you find it funny when a cow falls over. That is fine but in the context of this instance she sees how you don't understand her.
This is where being funny doesn't always work. She told you a very important story about how she felt and what her values and beliefs are. A nice statement of appreciation would be more effective. "You are a very empathetic person, I like about you."
Then relate a story where you felt empathy for someone or an animal.
When she asks you for a story like that don't feel you have to tell her the facts in chronological order. Choose one thing you remember about living in the countryside and tell her how that felt and what that was like.
Practice answering questions like that for yourself. Those are the type of questions you want to ask her. To get her to open up I have to open up about who I am.
Thanks for posting and good luck!
I've been reading this blog for a while and just heard you on the Pickup Podcast. Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate what you do for the community. It's definitely been helping me with my growth and I'm now seriously considering taking a Charisma Arts workshop. Thanks again.
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