Living Unapologetically

Ok, this is a call to all of you nice guys! Suck it up and stop being so apologetic! The only thing that prevents you from being successful with women is you are so worried about gaining her approval. I can be the sweetest, kindest, most generous, sensitive man around AND be successful. You can too! You don’t have to be an asshole to be good with women. What it takes is confidence! The first step is stop being so damn apologetic!

Women like nice guys, a LOT. She just wishes they would be more confident and stop putting her up on a pedestal. Stop doing nice things for her to get her to like you. I don’t care how intelligent, handsome, good in bed, and successful you are. If you use those things to try to impress her and get her to like you, you will come off as approval seeking. What is even worse is if you apologize for just about anything you do. I’m not talking a simple courtesy when you spill something, bump into someone, etc. Don’t apologize for not calling, don’t apologize for being late, don’t apologize for your life or what you do. If you are actually sorry then don’t do it again. The most important thing is the attitude not the words. I do say sorry when I am late, however it is only courtesy. I don’t go on an on, or explain myself beyond a simple statement of the situation. Be proud of who you are, what you do, and most importantly your weaknesses. Don’t apologize for them.

Listen in an average day how many times you apologize. How many of those times are a simple courteous “Sorry” and how many times is it you supplicating and putting yourself down or below the person? I have rarely heard very confident people apologize outside of courtesy. Why should they? Apologies mean shit. If you are sorry do things differently. Don’t live apologetically. Live confidently and let others deal with who you are. I’m not saying don’t be sensitive or nice, I’m saying take peoples feelings in account but if you want to go out and you miss a phone call from someone, don’t apologize for living your life and being busy. Stop apologizing for who you are.

There are two types of people I really respect, genuinely kind people and assholes. Why assholes? Because I know where they stand and they tell me like it is bluntly. I don’t have to guess to their motivations. Genuinely kind people I respect because I know they are kind because they want to be, not in a way to gain my approval. The self-proclaimed “nice guys” usually are only nice because they want people to like them or want something from someone. Be nice because that is who you are, not because you want anything from anyone. If you buy a dinner for someone, do it because you want to and would be fine if they got up in the middle and left.

All of this game comes down to not being approval seeking. I don’t apologize for who I am because I don’t need anyone’s approval. Living confidently and unapologetically is what will attract people to you more than anything else.