FR: Meeting Confidence

Meeting Confidence

So I usually don’t write field reports because I find them more an exercise in self-aggrandizing than actually any help to people. However this is an experience that I found really fun and has led me to someone I am really interested in yet could have never attracted in the past. Hopefully you can see how I implement the Charisma Arts method in this interaction.

My clients this last weekend opened up a group of four girls and in very little time were connecting and having a lot of fun talking to all of them. I in my usual fashion look most of the time like a complete loser standing on the outskirts being anti-social. Of course that is mainly because I am observing and want to give my whole attention to my clients rather than get into conversations with people that will just distract me from my job at hand.

After about one or two hours of talking to them, the most confident beautiful girl of the group, asks my clients why I am sitting all the way over there and not talking with them. She had already figured out I was connected to the guys in some way. She with an enticing come hither hand gesture, motions me to join them. I look at her for a second and ignore her and turn back to one of the alumni that was out with us that night. She now decides to rectify the situation by marching directly over and asking us why we weren’t joining our friends and her group, and why we were just sitting here alone. I immediately Disqualify and say with a sly grin and a tone that says I’m full of it, “Ya, I enjoy being kind of a loser like that, I’m not a very social guy.”

In a way it was actually true because I didn’t want to have her trying to win me over and ignore my clients; too late. She laughs and starts talking to us. She comes off very confident and starts giving me shit. I throw it right back at her with a push pull, “You certainly are overconfident, [pause] I kind of like that though.”

She says with a smile “you are pretty funny.” I of course disqualify “Thanks, but you should catch me on a Thursday, not so funny on weekdays.”

At this point my friend from that city joins us. He is a complete natural and is immediately being charming and flirting with her. One of my other clients who was not interested in her but was enjoying the banter joins in as well. So here there are three guys including myself teasing and flirting with her and she is just eating up the attention. My competitive streak comes out against my buddy the natural, and I knew we were all being entertaining and charming and she could be attracted to any one of us at this point. I pull out the big guns and connect on a deeper level.

I spread my hands like I am pushing my way through a crowd and say, “While this is all fun and good, its all fluff. I want to know something real about you. What is something that you are passionate about?”

A bit taken aback by the change in conversation, she pauses for a second but without missing a beat says, “traveling, I just got back from Europe after four months there.”

I say, “That’s really cool, I can definitely see how passionate you are about it. I like that about you. Ok, so in every trip there is always a defining moment that sticks with me and is the most intense memorable moment in my trip. What is yours?”

She tells me a great story about her trip in Italy and how incredible she felt there. Then she gets distracted by our group and is about to walk back over to her friends for a moment. I simply say as she is about to walk away “don’t forget I still owe you mine.”

I sit where I was, I knew she’d be back; after a few moments she comes right over to our group ignoring everyone else. She puts her elbows on the high bar table and leans in toward me. “Ok your turn.”

“Mine is sitting in the hammock looking out over the sand in Costa Rica. As each wave comes rolling in, the sound of white noise washes over me and reminds me of the pure bliss I was experiencing. My muscles ached from too much surfing and all I could do was just sit in the hammock and relax, taking it all in.”

Walking over to my side of the table she says “Ok I’ve GOTTA get your email”

I of course use this as a chance to get her phone number as well and we exchange information. Seeing that she closed me I hadn’t even had time to SOI her, after she got my number and we speak a bit I say, “You know your confidence and passion is really quite sexy, I like that about you.”

The real funny thing is that she had been SOI’d by one of my clients just a bit before and she comments how funny that she hears that twice in one night.

She goes back to being a social butterfly and one of my clients suggests we go to another bar. It is getting late and we are close to wrapping up. The clients invite the girls to the next bar as well. When we get to the other bar one of my clients decides to call it a night just a bit early. I spend about fifteen minutes talking with him outside after everyone went in. Who of course shows up to check on me? Miss Confidence is there, checking to see if I am coming in. I bid my client a goodnight and head down into the bar with her.

When we get down to where the others are, I of course see my other client in the group having a great time. She tells me to sit in her seat and she go grabs another chair and puts it on my left just a bit outside of the group and starts talking to me.

We chat a bit and somehow it comes up that I love to cuddle. She playfully asks me how good of a cuddler I am. I tell her “I am way too boney to be a good cuddler. My shoulder is like sleeping on a pointy rock.”

She puts her head on my shoulder and wraps herself around me, “yup feels good to me, I bet you are a good cuddler.”

After a moment she stands up and leads me to a bench seat in the bar a bit away from the group. She starts getting very interested in me and we touching and caressing each other’s hands. Earlier in the night when we were all flirting with her she kept saying she has a rule that she doesn’t kiss people in bars, also that she doesn’t sleep with people until she knows them very well. She again brings this kissing rule up and I decide to have a little fun with it. I say, “ya it’s really too bad you have this kissing rule I guess I’ll only be able to do this to you” as I push her hair aside and lightly bite her on the neck.

As I pull back I say “but that might be way too close to kissing so I don’t think I should do that either.” I return the conversation to finding things interesting about her and appreciating how uniquely confident and assertive she is.

Later I say, “ya, I’m really getting turned on by you and this whole kissing rule is definitely problematic”

She starts talking about her rule again and I stop her in mid sentence. “I’ve got a rule too!” I look her straight in the eyes and pause. She looks at me a bit shocked and apprehensive.

I tell her “See I would love to kiss you right now but I can’t because the bartender is watching.”

As I glance over at the bartender who is clearly not looking over at us, she starts to say something and I turn back to her look deeply in her eyes and tilt my head a bit just inches away from her lips. Then I pull away and look down as I say, “I just can’t, I think the bartender is looking again, it’s my rule.”

She starts to try to point out the bartender isn’t watching again, when I just start kissing her.

After kissing for a while I start to gather information on who is driving who and after a bit of a challenging set of logistics I just am blunt, “So you are either going to come over to my hotel or I’m coming to your house, how are we going to make this happen?”

After a bit of discussion we decide I’m going to drive with her to drop her friends and roommate off at her place, grab her snowboard and come back with me to my hotel.

The rest is history. No she didn’t have sex with me that night but we definitely had some fun until five in the morning when we finally fell asleep in each other’s arms.