Sweat starts beading up on your forehead. You start unconsciously clenching your fists in fear. Your feet are glued to the floor. Only moments of being the most entertaining fun guy in the group their really gorgeous friend comes over and starts talking to you. You start tripping over your words and you end up excusing yourself just to save face. “What the hell!” you think.
It is like this for so many guys I have talked to. They are quite charming with mildly attractive women but the moment they talk to a very beautiful woman they clam up and are unable to do it.
I hate to lay down this fact but as long as beautiful women intimidate you to the point you can’t be yourself, you won’t be successful in dating them. Why? It is about agenda. Ever notice women you are not interested often fall for you? It is because you are confidently yourself around them and have no agenda when you are with them. With a very beautiful woman she evokes in us this base desire to obtain her, to HAVE her. This creates a very predator prey relationship and what does prey do when around a predator? She runs, and runs fast.
There is a book I recently read called “The Female Brain” that explains that the part of a woman’s brain that sees and interprets non-verbal signals relating to social interaction such as body language, tonality, and intent, is ten times larger than the corresponding part of a man’s brain. Women can sense when you are not being genuine or when you start having an agenda to HAVE her.
Allison Armstrong actually goes so far to say that a relationship where you are extremely attracted to her won’t ever work. I personally feel that is going too far. However she has a point. The more attracted you are the more agenda you will have and the less yourself you will be. So what is the antidote for HWS (Hot Woman Syndrome)?
The antidote is stop putting her up on a pedestal!!! If you knew she ripped the heads off of small animals in her spare time would you still be attracted to her? If that doesn’t turn you off then insert any morally repugnant thing she could do and assume she just might. The fact is you don’t know her. Even after dating her for a while you can’t fool yourself that you know every skeleton in her closet! Understand you are attracted to her for her looks, but is that really enough for you? I know I want both an attractive woman and someone who has a personality I am attracted to. I don’t know if I am attracted to her personality for quite some time. The problem is most guys find out the minimum about her and any faults are not immediately obvious. They then just assume her personality is up to their standards. Don’t assume.
I go into interactions with beautiful women with genuine interest in who they are, without the assumption that I want to have any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with them. I need to get to know them to find out if they are up to my standards. I treat them the same way I treat a woman I am not attracted to in an interaction. I am every bit myself and I don’t have an agenda with her. If I find out more about her that I like then I escalate as I do in interactions I have with less attractive women. No time do I put her on a pedestal above me. We are equal, period.
So do whatever you need to do to get rid of your agenda and stay true to being yourself when you are around an extremely beautiful woman. Personally I just assume she might have dismembered puppy heads in her purse. Yes I know I am a bit weird. It works for me though.
Not everywoman lives up to my standards, just because she is really hot doesn’t’ pre-approve her for anything in my mind. It shouldn’t in your mind either. Take the time to find out what is interesting about her and appreciate it just like anyone else. Stay confidently and actively being yourself.
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22 comments:
If you were a real brain scientist with skills developed in the world of NLP you could easily solve this problem. But it's clear your a totally untrained FAKE. I feel so sorry for people who actually pay you money to learn from someone who acts like he is still learning.
I admit I like this blog, but I agree with some of the above statements. Socialhitchhiker, your talking about problems that are easily solved with products Ross Jeffries has had on the market for years that really work. Its to bad Juggler Method doesn't acknowledge the POWER of these techniques.
Yo Dan,
Don't bother even wasting time on comments like the two before...
I think pre-approving your comments like you did a while back wouldn't be a bad idea, bullshit like that doesn't even need to be seen to the world.
Rock on man, we all love you,
Pieter
I find that if I use barriers
with myself, this helps immensely when initiating chats with hot women. The same principle that makes it easier for her to flirt with you can make it easier on yourself.
I discovered this when I had a cold and went on my 1st real date with an LosAngeles 10: an ex-model yoga instructor babe.
Since I knew I had a cold and didn't want to give it to her, I knew we wouldn't be kissing. This put me much more at ease. Otherwise I'd have been incredibly nervous.
I was able to joke around. I was goofy (DQ-ing) and funny, leading and got lots of compliance. Stuff she probably rarely gets from guys.
Only problem was: at the end of the date she definitely wanted to kiss and fuck! When I turned down the kiss, she says, "I don't have to be up early in the morning!"
Hmm....maybe this isn't such a great approach after all.
First two posts are typical Ross marketing stategy: stir up controversy and generate a debate about who's method is better to get people curious.
Delete them.
I don't think the poster has anything to do with Ross's marketing strategy. There is some truth to it. If anyone has studied any other methods you would realize that Juggler OFTEN steals his material from other methods such as Mystery, and Speed Seduction. I think Juggler has made some improvements, but he does leave some BIG HOLES at times, and I wonder if he does this on purpose.
All right, enough politicking. This is a community. We're ALL learning, and that's what this blog is about. You won't find any instructor anywhere worth his salt who says that he's not learning anymore. Coming from (and keeping) a student frame is what makes someone successful in this game in the first place.
As for 'stealing' material from other methods; again, this is a community. We're all here to learn from each other, full stop. You'll never hear the 'big-name gurus' whine about guys 'stealing' from them, because that concept in itself is ridiculous.
Lastly, sometimes the 'big holes' in 'material' or framework are indeed left there on purpose, namely because they should be filled in through field work such that they're congruent with your identity. This is much more powerful than borrowing (in these particular areas especially) from another, and then fighting an uphill battle to make it yours.
Kudos on the blog. I'm learning right here with you bro.
-Harbinger
sometimes if i take them off the pedastal, i feel like i start treating them badly to convince myself that they aren't as good as they really are. so instead, i want to keep them on that pedastal, just put myself on a pedastal just as high as theirs, so i see them on an equal level.
make yourself comfortable with the fact that you may never be with another female for the rest of your life, and things get so much easier. as much as i LOVE girls, i don't need them.
when i walk up to a hot girl, just from her looks i am interested in pursuing her. how can i not be? however, i am totally fine with never seeing her again. i am interested, but unattached.
I am actually going to leave this round of SPAM posts by this guy. I have actually been getting a kick out of reading them every day and deleting them (Which i will continue to do).
Anyway, lets not encourage him by responding to his posts. My policy is if a comment adds no value to this blog I will delete it. This is not a forum, i am not going to accept flame messages here. Either contribute some useful opinion, compliment, question, disagreement, otherwise i'll delete it. I am leaving this round because he brings up some points i'd like to discuss. Albeit these points are COMPLETELY off topic.
Ok first, the Ross Jefferries stuff. I don't care if he has something better. This blog is my method, even more than it is anything that i learned from Charisma Arts. These are my understandings and ideas. Not everything i post here i would even post or teach at Charisma Arts. These are my ramblings. And yes i will shamelessly steal ideas from anyone and everyone and repackage them as my own! Wait isn't that how everyone does it? They learn something from someone and then put their own ideas about it together and then share it? Anyway enough said.
Oh ya there is that point about Wayne stealing stuff and HOLES in his stuff. I actually would love to hear any legitimate ideas on places where the method is missing something. As for Wayne stealing stuff, since when is any of this stuff all that original anyway? Who cares. He has packaged it differently and it works within his framework, which IS very different than other peoples. What is great is everyone has a very different philosophy. It is their techniques that overlap. If you understand Ross's philosophy, or Mystery's Philosophy, or Wayne's, then you don't even need their techniques and you can organically be yourself within that framework.
Last point. Normally i wouldn't bother responding to this guys post but he framed that learning from someone still learning is a bad thing. I actually don't consider myself any amazing PUA. I am not a pick up artist. I like being social, i have as much success with women as i have ever wanted, and i like sharing what i know. Period. There are tons of people better than me out there. I know my strengths. I am good at articulating these ideas so people understand them. If you expect me to demonstrate a kiss close in 30 seconds, don't bother, others could do it better. If you want to see how a convesation is made personal, and that i can uncover something interesting about ayone, then i'll gladly demonstrate that. The fact is I am still learning, and will always be learning.
So I invite you to join me on my journey, one that is never going to have a destination, hitching from set to set. Come learn with me and let's enjoy the ride.
Guess we are going back to moderated comments. So IOW if you don't see your comment show up for a couple days it is because i go through and approve them. All comments will be approved as long as they have something worthwhile to contribute. Which is 99% of everything you all have commented on before.
Seeing this guy likes to go around in the community and gets off on criticizing everyone yet stays anonymous says a lot.
So until he gets bored of posting and me never approving his posts we'll go to moderated comments.
> Personally I just assume she might have dismembered puppy heads in her purse.
Does this mean that when you try to kiss her, you actually go a bit farther just to check the inside of her purse for any puppy ear protruding? :)
SHH, I think it's interesting that you're really trying to get into the psyche of a woman's mind. I used to be so confused about the mixed signals women sent and why they flaked until I came across Doc Love a few months ago. He takes the same outlook you're suggesting. A realistic approach to interactions instead of letting a man's ego/interest level blind him and rationalize her behavior.
Anyway, dead on about HWS, we've all put women on pedestals when we should have tried to see what's their personality like.
I love wayne with all my heart, but i do feel a lot is left out of JM. Everyone's heard the statistic that what you say only counts for 7% of a person's impression of you. The rest is body language, tonality, kino, eye contact etc. JM summarises this whole 93% as "warm vibe" and mentions kino, but doesn't go into details.
I spent last weekend with a true PUG (one of the best in the world). His conversation was average at best (usually it was bad), but he oozed sexuality, confidence and masculinity in his BL, tonality and kino. He only approached girls HB8 and above for the whole weekend (probably did about 50 approaches) and every single girl loved him within seconds of his approach. He could have f-closed every one of them.
This opened my eyes as to how much is possible without good conversation. JM leaves out so much that isn't conversation. I don't know if this side came naturally to Wayne or if he gradually developed it over time without putting in a concerted effort, but it's not emphasised in his material.
In my experience, most guys are quite good at having a conversation and the other 93% is where they really have their problems.
Not flaming, just still in awe over what this guy did.
davich
davich have you taken a workshop? thats where you get to learn about body language.
and i have never heard about the theory that 'what you say' is 7% of someone's impression of you. i feel that body language is very important, but not 93% of how someone sees you.
Hey Davich, liked your point. Sure there are other ways that teach how to be the superman with women. Every one of them will love you.
The question I asked myself and headed me to Juggler method was: Are they loving You or "YOU"?
I don't like JM because it's more effective than any other one. I don't "fk close more" with JM. I'm just more happy, more Me. The other way I felt like unfrank.
In spanish frankness is diferent from sincerity. Sincerity talks about what you THINK, it's ego work. Frankness is the heart (the soul, the spirit, whatever is the deep truth you belive in) talkin. That's the difference I've felt between JM and what I'd seen before (DD and MM).
It's not about success, it's about feelin good baby.
Larrumba ;)
I disagree that "what you say" is 7%. This may be the case in Night Game / Club Game. But for day game and building relationships Charisma Arts's philosophy is nothing short of legendary. I completely understand why Dan & MBP are so enthusiastic about this method: it clicked their lives into place. By "confidently and actively being myself" I have enhanced important relationships, build a bigger social network and pleased more women than any other time in my life.
I've seen guys try and do that Ross Jeffries NLP crap and they usually just come off as creepy. As for Mystery Method.. it's just too mechanical. That stuff is for nerds. A1, C2 etc. That on top of all those 'canned' openers and you're never going to get outside of your head and really be yourself.
JM and SHH's blog is by far the best out there. Before I ever discovered this community, I would have occasional success with women and was never sure what it was that I did to get them. But after reading JM and this blog I can totally identify with the method and I KNOW that it works because it worked for me. I now know exactly what I did to find success and what I need to work on to continue having success.
Keep up the good work. I'll never go back to one of those Other methods again.
Dan, thanks for the post! One point - what about those ultra-hot women with boring bland personalities but goddes-like bodies?
Bland personalities, is there such a thing? Just because they're not interested in the same things as you or you haven't found out what gets them excited doesn't make them bland, it just says that maybe you're jumping to conclusions!
"sometimes if i take them off the pedastal, i feel like i start treating them badly to convince myself that they aren't as good as they really are. so instead, i want to keep them on that pedastal, just put myself on a pedastal just as high as theirs, so i see them on an equal level."
LOL, yeah I give hot women such a hard time, I'm ten times more challenging towards them, it makes it more obvious I'm macking.
xxx Goose.
I agree with special K, if you find them boring you might not be digging deep enough and making them feel comfortable enough to open up. DQ helps with that.
In the end, the ultra hot women with boring personalities. Pretty easy for me not to have an agenda because they bore me so i don't have any other agenda than to talk to someone more interesting. But the more i do this the more i find if i find someone boring it is my inability to draw out what makes them unique and interesting.
davich, Larrumba is right. I spend a lot of time on all of what you mention in the seminar portion of the bootcamp. However unlike a lot of companies that try to tell you how to stand, vibe, etc with concrete examples, we work individually with people one on one. Everytime i have seen people who try to imitate or learn someone elses bodylanguage or vibe they come off looking really ingenuine and contrived. We'd rather help you be you better, in the way you do it. Sorry i don't think text, audio, or even video can teach you that. Video comes close, but getting feedback on how you interperet that and manifest your own bodylanguage is more helpful.
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