It's time to spill the beans about your Charisma Arts Workshop (or your involvement in the seduction community) to this wonderful woman you just met and have gotten into a relationship with. How do you even broach the subject of taking a class to pick up women?
In Seattle this weekend I ran into a friend of mine while i was running the workshop. His girlfriend was there and i asked him if he explained what we were doing there. He nodded and I introduced Kory to them as well. Somewhere in the short conversation i said something that implied he was "in all this" and I sparked quite a upheaval in their relationship. Although he had mentioned me getting into this stuff he never mentioned he was involved.
On the way home his girlfriend was on the same plane as me and we had a long discussion about the community and what i do. She gave me some really cool perspective on what a woman thinks about the community when they first find out.
Now whether you are into Long Term exclusive relationships or multiple relationships at various stages, sometime it will likely come up that you are involved or have been involved in an aspect of the community. So learning how to tell her might be a really valuable thing.
What I learned on that plane ride home is something i knew but really hadn't verbalized before. I realized i was getting an inside look into how a woman's brain works. Wow, talk about scary. One thing i realized is women are not always logical and rational. However just like we talk about at Charisma Arts, they do speak on a very emotional level.
So she let it out, she told me everything she felt about finding out. How she was afraid she was just "prey" and was just a woman that would "do" and not someone any different than any other woman. Perhaps she was just a woman that was there and he settled with. She wanted to feel like his attraction for her was based on her being entirely unique and not like any other woman he had ever met. She wanted him to be 100% authentic, and to know he never ran techniques or tricks on her. In fact she most loved how badly he put his foot in his mouth most of the time. She didn't want that guy who knew exactly what to say and was super smooth.
This really made sense to me. Women want to know you have options and that you chose HER. They also want to know you are genuinely interested in everything that they are and see their uniqueness.
It is somewhat ironic that what i wanted, the ability to have options and choose a woman based her being completely unique and amazing to me, is exactly what they want you to want. They want to know you have options and chose her.
She really wanted me to put this message out there so guys we teach could have strong relationships. I think it was a great experience talking to her and re-affirmed what i am teaching and what i believe in. Genuine interest in someone is the most attractive trait you can have. When coupled with confidence and commitment to being yourself, it is an unstoppable combination. It also reminds me to always search for the uniqueness in every person I meet, and reward them for their uniqueness with my interest.
So when talking about the community you MUST stress certain aspects of it.
1) It taught me confidence to be 100% myself and to be proud of my weaknesses as well as my strengths.
2) In every person I meet I search for the unique beauty and personality that makes them who they are. I chose to be with you over all the people i've met because of all of the things that make you so incredibly unique.
3) When i met you I may have learned ways to communicate with you better but at no time did i ever delude myself that what i said or did was manipulating you in any way. I was my honest genuine self at all times.
4)The final lessons i learned were really just how to be a social person and really appreciate getting to know someone on a real and personal level while being myself.
If you keep these things in mind in all of your interactions, they will go better. If you are running routines and gimmicks I honestly don't know how to tell you to have this conversation. All I know is the method taught by Charisma Arts, and being myself. Hopefully in all of your interactions no matter how you relate to people you are doing it genuinely.
So remember, the most attractive you will ever be to a woman, is the moment she sees that you see her, as who she is, and you let her know that is why you are interested in her.
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7 comments:
women love drama. they get to live in a soap for a few minutes/hours/days.
I would suspect she's doubting her ability to select a quality mate, feeling her judgement may have been duped by techniques. The statement I want someone who chose me not settled, is counter intutive to what the community means, the whole point of improving with women is too have many options, she just wants to blame him/the community for the feeling that her intutive powers have failed her: that this man may not be quality, he fakes it.
what is your connection with 'Allison Armstrong's programs'. I find it funny they run workshops to 'understand men', !!!!!. These women need to find a PUA, much community advice is about feminising men, and I don't mean that in a derogatory way, that seems to be what women want, men with smooth shaved chests and butts who talk about emotions. Chicks with dicks.
This is what Deangelo says to women about the community:
'Some men view picking up women as a sort of
game. (Sad, but true) They talk and brag about women
with each other and describe the way they meet and
attract women. Others have pick-up lines, routines, gags,
tricks, and attitudes they use in order to take on a
persona they believe will be more attractive to women.
Maybe you’ve overheard some men talking this way. And
maybe you’ve even heard men you know or men you’ve
dated talk this way.'
So its social hitch hiker here, vs. a multi million dollar corporation. One plane ride at a time. You go boy!!
the community thing is:
on approach women have the choice to be with you, to continue the conversation to go on a day2. A highly skilled man can only influence these decisions (to near certainty at some levels).
After sex:
the man has the choice whether it turn into a relationship.
This is the point where the woman loses some of her control, and becomes vulnerable to rejection.
[rejection by the man at prior to this, being fake, merely the man beleiving the women is unattainable so cutting his loses]
To minimise this risk, women put men in the dating frame, by drawing it out over several dates, they get men to commit so much time that when sex comes around, and the man finally DOES get a choice of whether to have a relationship they are committed to that choice by the time, (and money for AFCs) they have committed.
It's a really bad idea to disclose your involvement in the community, Style has said this made it harder for him, you get a massive drawn out courtship where the woman get you to commit unusual effort/time, to prove they are not a slut, and *special*.
Yet JM is all about making them feel *special* as quickly as possible, and not making them feel like sluts, for the simple fact that you are interested in their unique qualities, not their generic qualities of T&A. If you're interested in unique qualities, then they're not a slut, and they know it.
No connection with Allison Armstrong. I heard some of her stuff and like her attitude and the material she represents.
I'm not sure what multimillion dollar corporation i am against but hey "Put your hands in the air and shout DOWN WITH THE MAN!" Hmm I wonder if i'll have trouble getting flights if "The Man" goes down ;-)
The community is about adopting high value behaviours.
In JM the conversational skills {vacumning, rewarding, and risking revealing interest some time in} are high value behaviours.
In MM you have the performance, the effect on a group, captivating men and women, indicates you are high value to a woman.
Both these create attraction.
High value men lead busy lives, and have many choices in women. Therefore for a woman to get in his life sex must be part of the deal. Hence they give it up more easily, it’s the only way they can get these men.
Style flaked on lots of women. Its also backed by the Red Queen. This is accurate.
There was an intelligent professional woman on MASF a while back, whose bf foolishly confided his involvement in the community, she registered, examined his field reports. He had faked high value, using routines and behaviours, shortcutting the you-must-supplicate dating frame and getting sex faster.
She felt cheated, her judgement subverted, upset she went round MASF slagging him off, trying to make us aware he was in fact really really seriously low value.
And its not just routines. Any kind of learned behaviours women loathe. There was a magazine article where women stated they like guys buying drinks, and protested against this new fangled non-supplication behaviour. There was an Ozzie columnist who lamented Style making nerds successful who didn’t ‘deserve’ to be successful with women. They deserve to die out it would seem. Learning social skill is just considered suspicious and wrong by women, because that’s how they judge high value. And by learning it without being wildly unusually successful, we are cheating their judgement system.
Style’s book ended showing the community in a bad light, the media has picked up that negative slant, it’s not helpful if you want to share everything. You will be setting yourself up as the target for all these negative influences you can’t control. Even if the gf accepts it, she goes to work, sees her friends, gossips, then you’ve got her friends passing negative judgement on you.
Good gosippy post Dan!
you know what Stlye's line is now?
'I don't know if the community is a good thing, I just know it was a good thing for me'.
I 100% agree. My girlfriend loves me so much because she thinks I have options but chose her.
I think this was a beautiful blog entry. It actually puts a lot of things into perspective for both men and women I think. Women really don't always think logically or rationally and do tend to rely on emotional "logic"... what you said really simplifies things and makes sense.
I appreciate CA because it seems to teach you to appreciate yourself and to develop more insight on someone else and pay attention to other people as well. It's real in a sense.
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