Push Pull and the Art of Teasing

Having a fun playful attitude is a key part of night game, and for that matter, at all times. We all go out to have fun and not be in deep conversations all night at the bar. While learning to relate and reward on emotional levels we often find ourselves in deep personal conversations. This is a good thing. This is where you connect with the other person and find out how unique they are. This is a base that will provide success in all of you interactions. Now it is time to take your interactions in a new direction. We all see the fun guy making jokes all the time as charismatic and fun to be around. If he doesn't connect to anyone emotionally he will limit his success, however he will be successful. If you only relate on a serious emotional level you will be successful, but will also limit your success. However if you put the core of the Charisma Arts Method, relate and reward, in with some fun playful push pull you will see your game improve dramatically.

Push pull is often defined with a clear example, "I usually don't date blondes, but i'll make an exception for you." It is the classic push them a bit away then pull them in closer. This accomplishes so much when interacting with people. It adds spice to the interaction. No one wants to know they have won your affection and don't have to work for it anymore. Push pull integrates that idea of keeping distance in an interaction while still connecting. It is a productive game of cat and mouse you might say.

I always hated that part of an interaction. You know the part where you aren't supposed to show interest too early or too strongly. I could never figure out the balance of being aloof and interested. Push Pull creates this powerful feeling of her not knowing exactly where she stands with you, but knowing you are interested. It also creates a wonderful playful vibe that let's you say things you might be scared to say. It allows you to play the game of "hard to get" but deepening and escalating the interaction as well.

"Normally i wouldn't even think of taking you home on the first night i met you, however you are making me seriously reconsider."

The most important thing is to never end on a Push. The idea is you wouldn't want to say:

"I could definitely imagine you and I getting to know each other in a very sensual way, however i absolutely won't do that with you in a million years."

Yes I know a bit dramatic, but it shows my point.

If you are good with your intonation you can actually end on a push but imply you are full of it and are actually, with smile, body language and tone, pulling her closer. My one warning here though, is lose the sarcasm. Sarcasm degrades social interactions if there is even the slightest misunderstanding. Sarcasm is saying something good and meaning something bad.

"I just love how incredible the bartenders are here, fastest i've seen in a long while." And really meaning you are upset with the service. While sarcasm can be fun and interesting it really sets up a bad precedent. It implies that there are some times when you are saying good things, that you are actually meaning good by, but there is always a chance you are being negative and sarcastic. That inconsistency creates discomfort in an interaction. I remember being on a road trip with a couple of female friends that were incredibly sarcastic. So much so you never knew if they were being kind to you or cutting you down. Even they had to periodically ask each other whether the other one was serious or being sarcastic. What a confusing way to interact with someone, never knowing whether they are telling the truth or just basically lying to you.

Teasing on the other hand is saying something bad and meaning something good. There is very little confusion. If you are a positive upbeat person when you are saying good things you mean it. If you are saying bad things you are probably still meaning good things as well! So when you are teasing you are actually creating comfort and connection because you mean good things about the person.

So here is an example of each:

Sarcasm: OH I BET your just a sweet innocent girl! (Do you actually think she is a slut? She might wonder a bit.)

Teasing: I know you have a naughty side under that sweet innocent facade. (You are flirting here. Naughty is being played off like it is bad but your showing you like it when she is naughty, and on top of that you are also calling her sweet and innocent in a sly way.)

Push pull can be so much more then the examples in Juggler's Ebook. It can also be what appears to be Pull Push but making sure your tone is pulling her in because you are teasing her.

"I like that dress, but I think your wearing it wrong, are you supposed to be showing that much skin?" The key with this statement is if you don't have a good understanding of how your tone is being interpreted, it could come off very badly. But if you say it in a very playful teasing way at the right time of the interaction it will go over very well.

"Ok, now i've said too much, you are probably going to blab my most intimate secrets all over the bar now! How are all these other women going feel when they all know just how sexy i find you."

"Stop it, I mean it! Seriously, you have to stop that it is turning me on far too much. No using your feminine wiles on me, thats not fair!"

The last two statements are classic teasing, where you are saying something is bad but really it's obvious it is a good thing. If you have trouble being clear with your intonation use the classic push pull format, if you can use your tone well then you can really vary it quite a bit.

"The way you describe your art is very sexy, you have to stop it now, your turning me on too much"

"You have a very sexy attitude. But don't let it go to your head!"

Push pull is that magic thing that really escalates an interaction. You are being playful and fun yet are clearly telling her you are sexually interested in her. It creates that confident vibe that you get with "cocky funny" but you can be kind and affectionate. Women aren't used to guys who can push them away at the same time pull them in closer. It creates that mystery, intrigue and the feeling of "the chase" women appreciate so much. You really will find that the more you use Push Pull the more successful your interactions will be.